Twisted Proverbs
* If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
* Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
* No one listens to you, until you make a mistake.
* A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Points To Ponder
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
You know how most packages say "Open here"...
What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
Why do people without a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
Why is the alphabet in that order?
If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?
Why is there only one Monopolies commission?
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?